Is Tutoring Actually Right For Your Child? (An Honest Answer)
I’m going to tell you something most tutoring companies won’t say:
Sometimes, tutoring isn’t the answer.
I know that sounds strange coming from someone who runs a tutoring service. But after 40+ years of teaching, I’ve learned that honesty matters more than bookings.
So let me walk you through when tutoring helps, when it doesn’t, and how to know the difference.
When tutoring genuinely helps
Let’s start with the situations where I know tutoring will make a real difference:
1. There’s a specific, identifiable gap
Your child missed a chunk of school due to illness.
They moved schools mid-year and the curricula didn’t align.
They’re in Set 2, but the teaching pace assumes everyone’s at the same starting point (they’re not).
These are knowledge gaps — and tutoring is brilliant for filling them.
One of our students was off school for six weeks after an appendix surgery. When she came back, everyone else had learned circle theorems. She was completely lost.
Three weeks of weekly tutoring later? Back on track.
That’s what tutoring does well: targeted gap-filling.
2. They understand it in the lesson, but can’t do it independently
This is incredibly common.
Your child nods along in class. The teacher explains. They think they’ve got it.
Then they sit down to do homework, and… nothing.
Why? Because watching someone do something and being able to do it yourself are completely different skills.
A tutor bridges that gap by:
- Making your child do the work (not just watch)
- Catching mistakes in real-time
- Giving instant feedback
- Building independence through scaffolded practice
One mum told us: “My daughter could follow along in class, but the minute she was on her own, she panicked. Having a tutor who made her practise step-by-step changed everything.”
3. They’ve lost confidence and need someone to believe in them
This one’s close to my heart.
Sometimes, a child doesn’t actually need help with the content. They need someone to say: “You can do this. I’ve seen hundreds of students like you, and they got there. You will too.”
I worked with a Year 11 boy last year who was convinced he was “rubbish at Maths.”
He wasn’t. He’d just had a teacher in Year 9 who made him feel embarrassed for asking questions.
We didn’t do anything revolutionary. We just… gave him a safe space to make mistakes, ask “silly” questions (none of them were silly, of course), and rebuild his belief in himself.
He went from predicted grade 4 to achieving a grade 6.
Confidence isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation.
4. They need accountability and structure
Some children just work better with external accountability.
They’ll do the work if someone’s checking. They’ll revise if there’s a session booked. They’ll practise if a tutor says “I want you to try these three questions before next week.”
That’s not laziness. That’s just how some brains work.
Weekly tutoring provides gentle, consistent accountability in a way that parents often can’t (because, let’s be honest, nagging your own teenager doesn’t usually end well!).
When tutoring probably won't help
Now the harder bit.
Here are the situations where I’d be honest with a parent and say: “Tutoring might not be the best use of your money right now.”
1. The issue is actually anxiety or mental health
If your child is so anxious they can’t sleep the night before school…
If they’re having panic attacks before tests…
If they’re so stressed they can’t focus…
Then tutoring won’t fix that.
In fact, adding more academic pressure might make it worse.
I had a mum call me last term. Her daughter was struggling with Maths, but as we talked, it became clear the real issue was that she was being bullied at school and couldn’t concentrate on anything.
I said: “I can tutor her, and we might see a small improvement. But honestly? I think you need to talk to the school about the bullying first. That’s the bigger issue.”
She thanked me for being honest.
Sometimes the kindest thing I can do is not take a booking.
2. They’re already working flat-out and exhausted
Some children are drowning in school work, club commitments, homework, and pressure.
Adding tutoring on top? That’s not support. That’s just more weight on an already-overloaded child.
If your child is:
- Getting less than 7-8 hours sleep regularly
- Constantly stressed
- Has no downtime or hobbies anymore
Then tutoring isn’t the answer. Rest is.
A burnt-out child can’t learn, no matter how good the tutor is.
3. The teaching style at school is the real problem
Sometimes, the issue isn’t that your child can’t understand the content.
It’s that the way it’s being taught at school doesn’t work for them.
One parent told me her daughter was “failing” Science. But when I asked more questions, it turned out the teacher spoke incredibly quickly, never wrote anything on the board, and expected students to just “get it” from verbal explanations.
Her daughter is a visual learner who needs to see things written down.
In that case, tutoring helped — but only because we adapted the teaching style, not because we taught more content.
Sometimes it’s not the child. It’s the teaching style.
4. There’s an underlying learning difficulty that hasn’t been identified
If your child has been struggling for years…
If they’re trying really hard but nothing seems to stick…
If they find reading, writing, or processing information significantly harder than their peers…
Then please, before booking tutoring, consider getting them assessed for:
- Dyslexia
- Dyscalculia
- Processing disorders
- Working memory issues
Tutoring can help once you know what you’re dealing with. But if there’s an undiagnosed issue, throwing more teaching at the problem won’t fix it.
We need to understand why they’re struggling first.
The questions to ask yourself
So how do you know if tutoring is right for your child?
Ask yourself these three questions:
- Is there a specific, fixable gap?
(Missed content, exam technique, consolidation needed) - Is my child in a place where they can actually absorb support?
(Not burnt out, not overwhelmed, emotionally okay) - Have we ruled out other issues?
(Anxiety, bullying, learning difficulties, teaching style mismatch)
If you answered yes to 1 and 2, and you’re confident about 3, then tutoring will probably help.
If you’re unsure, let’s have a conversation about it.
What I'd suggest instead
If tutoring doesn’t feel like the right fit, here are some things that might help more:
If it’s anxiety: Talk to your GP, school counsellor, or consider CBT
If they’re burnt out: Cut back on something. Rest matters more than results.
If it’s friendship issues or bullying: Talk to the school. That’s affecting everything else.
If they hate their teacher: Sometimes just waiting for next year’s teacher is the answer (I know that’s frustrating, but it’s honest).
If you think there’s a learning difficulty: Get an assessment. Then find a specialist tutor who understands that specific need – we can help.
How we decide if we’re the right fit
When a parent books a planning call with me, I don’t automatically say yes to everyone.
I ask questions.
I listen.
And sometimes, I say: “I don’t think tutoring is what your child needs right now. Here’s what I’d try first…”
Because I’d rather turn away a booking than take money from a family when I know it won’t actually help.
If you’d like to have that honest conversation about whether tutoring is right for your child, I’m here. And if I think tutoring isn’t the answer, I promise I’ll tell you.
Book a free 20-minute call:
Warmly,
Claire Meadows-Smith
Founder and Principal
The Community Schools
