Cracking Under Pressure? How to Help Your Child Cope with Exam Anxiety (Before It Becomes Too Much)
Is your child losing sleep over upcoming exams? Perhaps they’ve started to avoid studying altogether, or maybe you’ve noticed physical symptoms like headaches or stomach pains before test days? You’re not alone. Many parents watch helplessly as their confident, capable children transform into bundles of nerves when exams loom.
Exam anxiety affects countless students across the UK, but the good news is that, with the right support, your child can develop healthy coping strategies that will serve them well beyond their school years. Let’s explore practical ways to help your child manage exam stress before it overwhelms them.
Why Exam Stress Is So Common—and So Overwhelming
Children today face unprecedented academic pressure. With university places becoming more competitive and schools increasingly emphasising performance metrics, it’s no wonder that exam periods trigger anxiety.
“Many students equate academic performance with self-worth,” explains Dr Emma Thompson, an educational psychologist. “They feel their entire future hinges on these results, creating a perfect storm for anxiety.”
This pressure manifests differently in each child:
- Some become irritable and withdrawn
- Others develop physical symptoms like headaches or insomnia
- Many procrastinate to avoid the discomfort of studying
- Some overwork themselves to the point of exhaustion
The challenge for parents is finding the balance between supportive encouragement and adding to the pressure cooker of expectations.
5 Warning Signs Your Child Is Struggling with Exam Anxiety
Before anxiety reaches crisis point, look out for these early indicators:
This pressure manifests differently in each child:
- Sleep disruption: Difficulty falling asleep or waking frequently with worry
- Physical complaints: Regular headaches, stomach pains, or feeling ill before school
- Avoidance behaviours: Making excuses to skip school or study sessions
- Negative self-talk: “I’m going to fail” or “I’m not smart enough”
- Perfectionism: Excessive concern over minor mistakes or constantly redoing work
Catching these signs early allows you to implement supportive strategies before anxiety becomes entrenched.
Practical Strategies to Help Your Child Manage Exam Stress
Create a Balanced Study Environment
The study environment you help create can make all the difference:
- Establish a dedicated study space free from distractions, but not isolating
- Break revision into manageable chunks with regular breaks (the Pomodoro Technique—25
minutes of studying followed by a 5-minute break—works wonders) - Encourage healthy routines including regular sleep, proper nutrition, and physical
activity - Model balanced attitudes towards achievement by emphasising effort over perfect
results
“Children need to see that studying matters, but it’s not the only thing that matters,” says a tutor, at The Community Schools. “When parents maintain perspective, children find it easier to do the same.”
Teach Practical Anxiety Management Techniques
Equip your child with tools they can use independently when anxiety strikes:
- Deep breathing exercises: Simple 4-7-8 breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8)
- Positive visualisation: Imagining successfully completing the exam
- Thought reframing: Changing “I’m going to fail” to “I’ve prepared well and will do my best”
- Grounding techniques: The 5-4-3-2-1 method (identify 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, etc.)
These techniques don’t just help with exams—they’re lifelong skills for managing stress in any situation.
Build Confidence Through Preparation
Anxiety often stems from feeling unprepared or uncertain about expectations:
- Help your child develop a realistic study timetable that includes rewards and breaks
- Use past papers and practice tests to demystify the exam format
- Encourage your child to ask teachers specific questions about unclear topics
- Consider whether a knowledgeable tutor might help fill knowledge gaps and boost confidence
At The Community Schools, we’ve seen remarkable transformations when students finally grasp concepts that had long confused them. That “aha!” moment does wonders for exam confidence.
Keeping Perspective: The Bigger Picture
Perhaps the most important message you can give your child is that exams, while important, are just one measure of ability at one point in time.
“The most successful people I know didn’t necessarily ace every exam,” notes Claire Meadows-Smith, The Community Schools founder. “They developed resilience, curiosity, and problem-solving skills—qualities that matter far more in the long run than any single test result.”
Remind your child that their value isn’t determined by grades, and that many paths lead to a fulfilling future. This perspective alone can take enormous pressure off anxious students.
Moving Forward Together
Supporting a child through exam anxiety isn’t just about helping them achieve better grades—it’s about equipping them with emotional management skills that will serve them throughout life.
By recognising early warning signs, implementing practical strategies, and maintaining a healthy perspective, you can help transform exam periods from times of dread to opportunities for growth and confidence-building
Want personalised support tailored to your child’s specific learning style and anxiety triggers?
The Community Schools offers 1:1 tutoring that addresses both academic needs and emotional wellbeing.
Get in touch today to discuss how we can help your child thrive during exam season and beyond.
